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causes of low self esteem guide

Before You Date
By Buddy Rathmell, Sat Dec 10th

There are a couple of things that you need to have nailed downbefore you start to date so that you can know who you want todate. If you don't have these things figured out you very likelywill end up dating and/or marrying the wrong person.

What? Are you saying that there is only one person that I canmarry?

We'll leave that issue for another time but I do want to talktoday about the two things that you need to figure out first.

1. Your Master 2. Your Mission 3. Your Date/Mate Who is going tobe Lord of u your life? Some of you are kidding yourselves inthinking that Jesus is Lord of your life when you know that youreally make the decisions mostly without consulting God at allor really even caring what he would have you to do in a certainsituation.

Others of you have made other people the Lord of your life. Youmay make decisions to please others when really you need to bemaking decisions that are right for you and not for yourmom/dad/best friend/boss etc.

When you have settled the mastur question in your life. (If youare a Christian I am hoping the master question has been settledfor you, although I know that often it is not). Once you havethat settled you are free to move on to the next section.

What is your mission in life? This has been a growing issue inthe past few years. It seems that more and more people are toldthat they can do more and more so they can't settle on doinganything. My brother likes to say, "Somebody lied to you."Hopefully you had people in your life telling you the truthabout what you are good and what you are not so good at. Tellinga person whose singing causes dog's to cover their ears andchildren to cry that they have talent doesn't help them.

Youmake think that in the short term you are helping their selfesteem but in reality you are only causing them harm.

I am seeing so many 20 somethings who can't figure out what theywant to do with their lives because they don't know who theyare. Start by asking those that know you well a few thoughtprovoking questions.

1. What do you think that I do well?

2. What could you see me doing in life?

3. What do you think that God created me to do on this earth?

Ask yourself some questions. What have you had success at inlife? What do you enjoy doing? What gets your juices flowing,either ticked off or really excited? These may be some of theclues as to what God has for you.

As you walk further down this road of introspection your view ofwhat God could have for you to do will become more focused. Likethe light of a flashlight that gets smaller as you twist thehead, your target area that your life is heading should becomesmaller as you learn more of who God created you to be.

Once you have down your Master and your Mission it is mucheasier to figure out who your date. Obviously, there is no harmin going on date with someone who isn't compatible with yourmission but you probably don't want to go on many dates withsomeone that is heading in a different direction than you are.So your three biggest decisions in life are usually made in the20 something years. Hopefully making them in the right orderwill help you to walk successfully through life.

About the author:Buddy Rathmell is a professional youth worker with a growinginterest in seeing twenty-somethings date and pick a mate well.Buddy and his wife Jennifer (M.S. Biblical Counseling) can befound at http://www.christiandatingblog.com where they haveresources to help today's christian single make wise choiceswhen it comes to dating.

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