Walking On Egg Shells !
By Dorothy Lafrinere, Sat Dec 10th
Walking on egg shells! Has anyone ever told you, that's how theyfeel around you? If they have, it's a huge red flag and one thatshould not be ignored. It needs to be dealt with immediately.
Relationships are a tough challenging part of our lives.Especially when dealing with matters of the heart. As truly good as theymake you feel, they can in turn tear you apart from the inside in aheartbeat. When the red flags start to rise up, that's when yourrelationship is crying out for help. You need to address it, as if a baby wascrying out to you. When someone says they feel like they are walking on egg shells,what is that telling you? It's telling you : that they can no longer be themselves in your presence. thatthey fear your reaction whenever they speak. that they arestuck, that they cannot move in either direction, for fear of upsetting you. It is also telling you that they need tostop this feeling that is tearing them apart. Many of us are guilty for causing theseprison bars that surround our loved ones. We do not even realize that our own fears are doing this tothem. We are so caught up in ourselves that we are blind to the worldthat we have created for them. Through our own fears we hear what they say in all the wrong languages. We interpret them through our weaknesses and turnwhat they say all upside down. Some of us react irrationally, forcing our partner to eithertake cover and hide or even worse become irrational themselves. Thisis when we both become deaf and blind. When the relationship warbegins, there are no winners, only victims. What once was love, kissesand smiles has turned into an ugly vicious battle ground of snarls,hate, and searching for the lowest hit we can aim for. Wow, how doesthis happen so fast? We as humans are notorious for ruining so manyvery good things out of pure bad habits. No one wants to lose or be the one saying, "I am sorry" everyfive minutes, nor should a real relationship become a win/losesituation either. Who wants to walk on egg shells? Then again, no onewants to have to defend their every breathe to someone they thought lovedthem unconditionally and are committed to. Walking on egg shellssucks! If we cannot be ourselves with the one we love, then who can webe that with? This is not to say that a person should disrespectthe other. When you know that something troubles the other person ormakes them feel truly uncomfortable, it should go without saying thatit is just not done. That is true respect. Why would you want to do something to hurt your best friend or even make your loved onefeel out of place? In new relationships it does take time to get things organizedas in any new situation. Moving into a new house, a new job, having ababy, or even planning a trip, we have to reorganize to accommodateour now lives. Committing to another person is just the beginning of thebook. It is just the title. Now you have to write the story and yes,make a few corrections along the way on both parts, but the trick is to constantly compare each others notes. Remember this: staying onthe same page is what your relationship is all about. When we make a commitment to another person through love, we are taking on a responsibility to share our love and life with that person. We are silently telling them that we are now going totake in consideration their feelings as well as our own. Your once single-self life has now become a two-self life. Thisdoes not mean that you stop breathing and living. It just means thatyou are now sharing your life with this chosen person. It opens up awhole new
world of respect. Remember also that you cannot gain respectif you do not offer respect. Life becomes a definite two-way streetwhen two hearts are involved. There are also two minds working inthis relationship now; two minds that are of opposite genders, twominds that will collide now and then. This is not a bad thing. We needto have differences to add spice to our lives. Be very careful of starting the "Poor Me", habit. This isanother relationship red flag to watch for. Remember, walking on eggshells? If one partner becomes so caught up in their own worries andfails to share this with their partner, it will sneak in between you bothand begin to build a very strong wall of negative habits. If youhave read any of my other articles, you will know these negative habitswell, jealousy, mistrust, low self-esteem and total loneliness. When your partner begins to feel they are slipping away fromyou, grab on and do not for a minute take that red flag for granted.Listen hard to their worries and love them more, not necessarily better.Just show more of your love. If they keep slipping away, then there iseither nothing left to save or they need help outside of yourrelationship. It is so important to know your partner. Only then can yourealize when they are in trouble. Do not allow your relationship tobecome the wallpaper in your house. No one wants to be a wallflower. No onewith any self-respect that is. Another great phrase I hear all the time is, "Door Matsyndrome". Oh this is a very bad thing for couples to allow to take hold oftheir relationship. In many cases one partner has taken hold of it andfalls into a control habit. This is something that plagues many relationships. When does one partner become the owner? I willuse that word because it shows possession and control. This happensbecause it can. Some one has allowed this ownership to take place. STOPallowing this, please. A partnership, relationship, commitment, whateveryou want to call it, is an EQUAL understanding of respect and love.There are no owners and no bosses. No one is above the other. Manshould respect woman and vice-verse. This is a must in order to make a relationship strong enough to not allow negative habits anycontrol. When there are no negative habits, there is no walking oneggshells. How much more simpler can it get. We are an intelligent species,so let us act intelligent when we decide to commit to anotherperson. This is two lives we are dealing with here, not just anotherHollywood movie. We are all going to age and all of us are going to noticeour body parts going south. Guess what, no one is above that law.When you have found a true love, and are willing to invest your life withthat person, please do not allow material things or negative fantasyideals to come between you. It really is not worth it. When you feel unsure of something ,or you feel negative emotions taking control of your mind, reach out to your partner. Don'twalk on egg shells. Do not turn it into a war against your partner. Useall of your love to fight the negative relationship habits. Love isworth it. We all have our good and bad days. Some have more than others.So when it's a good day, then make it a really good day. Those arealways remembered the longest. Don't walk on egg shells. We have tolove ourselves first, then and only then can we love another! Tell each other often what you saw in each other, what you seenow. Being reminded why we are "The One" helps us to act that way. -Toni Sciarra Poynter About the author:Dorothy Lafrinere Owner/Operator Website-http://www.womensselfesteem.com Weblog-http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy Forum-http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com email-dorothy@womensselfesteem.com |
